Capture Your Grief 2013: Day 5 - Memory

It breaks my heart that every memory I have of you fits into one small box. I remember so much about you, Nicolai. When you were born, I remember staring at all your little features from the minute you came into the world until the next day when they took you away. I wanted to make sure that every detail was burned into my mind so that I would never forget how you looked. I saw your sweet face on the back of my eyelids every time I closed my eyes. You were so warm and pink when you arrived, I remember thinking that at any moment you would open your eyes and prove them all wrong. I remember trying desperately to keep you warm throughout the night, hoping for the miracle that never came. I remember those last soul wrenching hours, when despite our best efforts, we could not keep you warm and pink anymore. I remember the way you started changing before my very eyes and how I knew that it was finally time to let you go. I remember you every second of every day.